Gaslighting within a parent child relationship
children who have had unloving parents or carers may become victims of gaslighting
a narcissistic mothers anger criticism and thoughtless dismissal of child's feelings are painful and destructive to the child. Furthermore that causes the child to grow and develop into an adult with severe self-doubt issues, low confidence and self esteem, and I'm more likely to downplay any illness or injury they may have in order to not seem as if they're attention-seeking as they have been told.
Children hold onto these beliefs and they will stop any behaviour in order to try to be the perfect child, even if this behaviour is normal for their development - a child will blindly follow their parent.
A narcissistic parent will stay true to form meeting any confrontation with drama, deflection and a focus on the childs shortcomings. Over a period of time this causes the child to grow and feel like they are the problem not the narcissistic payment that is gaslighting. It is very difficult for a child to realise they have been victim of Gaslighting.
If causing drama or focusing on the child shortcomings doesn't reap the desired effect, the narcissistic parent will turn to the denial.
Confrontation makes a narcissistic parent feel cornered. when this happens, they can't and won't validate a child's feelings or experiences, instead rewrite and distort the child's reality.
Often parents who Gaslight put a face on in public and seem to be good parents. This creates confusion and resentment within the child. Narcissistic parents can also pit siblings against each other or play favourites. Obviously this has devastating consequences.
Gaslighting is considered abuse and if you are a child of a parent who has been gaslighting you, you have been an abused child. I personally find it very important to own what has happened to us, whatever that may be.
A parent who gaslights may hide objects just to cause the child to doubt the situation and blame themselves. They may also belittle the child in either how they dress or act. This is in order to try and make the child fit there mold. However, the only effect that it has is to produce an adult who never feels good enough for anyone.
A narcissistic parent who gaslights will require and demand full control and power over their child's life regardless of what age their child is. This spans on into adulthood, where the parent tries to control marital relationships, jobs and personal life. They may seclude you from friends, functions and other family members. Only the abuser can influence victims thinking, they require full control.
One subtle tactic abusers use is attempting to alternate between ignoring and attending to the victim. This causes the victim to lower expectations of what affection they deserve and perceive themselves as less worthy of affection leading to acceptance of mistreatment and the belief such treatment is normal.
Currently we are conducting research into the causes of trauma. I have included a link to the survey here : https://surveyheart.com/form/5f06e63b3ed8765392fe12d0
If you would be interested in taking part, please feel free. If you would like to share this study i would also welcome you to use the link, many thanks!